Take a deep breath

 You know what I've been thinking about lately? Myself. With my grandfather being sick instead of it being about him, it has turned into something about me. But that's what death is... a big ball of selfishness, not for the person dying, but for the people around that person. For a christian we should feel two things, 1) There is a time for mourning and being sad-- why? Well children that's because we have no idea how long we will be separated from this dear person, 2) Joyful. God once told me "The heart can be happy while the mind is unhappy, therefore it is by  far better to be joyful because joy feeds the heart, mind and most importantly- the soul." So there's a little God wisdom for you, but back to what i was saying. Yes joy. And if your me a little bit of jealousy. I mean seriously. Though I will miss him for the handful of decades more I will be here...

               My grandpa gets to go to freaking Heaven and see Christ and sing to him for ETERNITY.
Yea... I'm jealous. But back to joy. Joy. We all know what it is. And we are supposed to feel it, but often times it gets jumbled in with other nasty feelings such as doubt. But see if we were always focused on God, these nasty feelings would not be a problem. But to date the only person I've ever know to have focused on God %100 of the time is Jesus... and that's hardly fair considering that he is God. So if you are experiencing something similar to me know this: though you love this person a lot you will see them again soon(hopefully), if you stay focused on God and keep your thoughts from yourself God will refine you. And that pain. That devil awful pain eating away at your heart, you know the one that makes you dis functional. It will all start to fade. This is just the dark before the morning. The hurt before the healing. All you have to do is give all your pain over to Christ. And trust me-- he can take it, he's taken far worse pain than you and i will ever know.

How is it possible?

 The last few days have defiantely been some of the hardest of my life-- my grandpa, whom is like a father to me, is terminally ill-- I feel that I now know true pain. I have been in such a whirlwind of emotions that I've hardly had time to comprehend them; jealous and happy that he is going home to see Father, sad that he is leaving me, and empty because he will take so much of him with me. God is really putting  me to the test. And I hope I am doing well. Never have I relied so heavily on God, never has Christ been at the front of my mind 24-7, but at the same time its so hard to pray because my own emotions are getting in the way. I know why pain makes me stronger now, I know why good men die, I know why He gave me eyes but faith is how I see. Now I just need to figure out why I am so afraid of the dark but I stray from the light. I truly am taking this one day at a time and letting tomorrow worry about itself. My only prayers "Take him home in peace," and "Refine me LORD through the flames." Ive been crying alot, but the only thing I keep saying is "The LORD gives and the LORD takes away, may the name of the LORD be praised" but the funny thing is, is that i promised my self that when a tragedy like this ever befallen me that those would be the first words out of my mouth. I am blessed to have Christ and such wonderful friends walking by my side as I experience the first physical death I have ever seen. I have only seen life-- never death. I will sow for myself righteousness, I will reap the fruit of Gods unfailing love, and I will break up my unploughed ground; for the time has come for me to seek God with all my heart until he showers righteousness on me.

So...

 Hello All,

About two days ago, I read a bible verse, I read my bible almost everyday, but this verse stood out. I am studying the book of Hosea, and anyone who hasn't read it should, its great!!! But anyways here is the verse.
   "Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you." Hosea 10:12.
   What is being said to us? Do you know? Because I do?
   It is time to go back to GOD. It is time to stop playing church and get out of our pews. But why are we supposed to do this?...... Because it is our mission. God said to spread love. We can't spread love living like Christian Aetheists(Believers who act like God doesn't exist). We all know how to spread love, is simple... it can be a smile to a stranger, so if its this simple, then why aren't we doing it? We aren't doing our jobs. But why not? have we just settled with our eternity in heaven, what about those who are on their way to Hell?

Hi

Hello all, my name is Jenna, and for some reason I was reading my best friends blog, and I felt like I should start a blog also. Technology... its great. My life is pretty average, but at the same time its not... I am a called out one, or in simple terms-- a christian. Like I said, my life is average; I am fifteen, a native Texan, divorced parents(sad that that is normal), christian(which is also common considering that Texas is the 'bible belt'), and I was born. Sounds pretty average to me.
 I have never actually blogged, nor read a blog, so this is pretty new to me. According to other sources all people do on blogs is talk about is themselves , which is fine, but I think that might be boring... especially you. The Reader.
 I have been thinking lately "of all the christians in the world, how many are actually real in-a-relationship-Christ-loving children of God". Considering that 1/3 of the world is christian, and that not even 1/3 of the teens at my youth group actually give a flying flip about God, not every many.
  That brings up more sad feelings in my heart than water from a geyser.
So if you stumble across this Posting... my very first posting, I would like you to think about that. Are you a genuine christian, or are you just going through the motions? And if you are an atheist, agnostic, or a practicer of any other religion know this: The reason Christians have such a bad name is because many Christians claim Christ, but act as if he doesn't exist, meaning that we forget who we belong to and act like we don't know between right and wrong.
 Well that is my first entry, and I don't really know how to close one of these things...
I better go do my Physics homework... God bless, I pray that you won't have as much homework as me...